I have been thinking about dating and finding your person quite a bit these days. I believe my person is out there and that I will meet him one day. Over the last three months I have been trying to date with intention and it has been fun, uncomfortable, challenging and exhausting at times. I have met some interesting guys and some guys who are not the right fit for me and that’s okay. With each experience I learn more about myself and what I want in a partner and a relationship.
Dating is a process, you have to try different people on for size and see if they are the right fit for you. That is why I am trying to be intentional in my dating life now, to date with my needs in the forefront and to be open and honest about what I want and need in a relationship. To build on my learnings from past relationships and find the love that I deserve and that fits me.
Last week, I read an article that really had me thinking about the way I approach dating. The article argued that single women should embrace the Mari Kondo trend of getting rid of things in our lives that don’t spark joy, but instead of doing that with our clothing and material things we should do that with our dating lives.
One of the suggestions to bring joy to your dating life was to write a man you’ve been seeings name down on a post- it and if your first reaction isn’t to smile or feel joy then it’s time to move on. I loved this idea and have started to apply it to my dating life. I sat down and thought about the men I had been seeing and if my reaction was to say ‘ugh’ or a pained expression crossed over my face than I took it as a sign that it was time to move on to new possibilities.
The concept of sparking joy is important because it makes you stop and re-evaluate the situation and whether it is the right fit for you. For me, it gives me a chance to ask: Are my needs being met? Does this person make me feel special, important, like a priority in their life? Do they respect me and my feelings? And above all else do they make me feel happy?
Each relationship teaches you about what you want in a partner and what you need. My last relationship taught me that I want to get back the same amount of love and effort I put in. That I want to feel special and important and that I need someone who can make me a priority in their life and who is excited to spend time with me. I have also learned over the years that feeling like you can be yourself completely is very important. All the relationships I admire work because each person can be themselves without fear of judgement or rejection.
I believe strongly that my person is out there and that I will meet him one day. But in order to meet the person who is right for me I have to remember what I want in a partner and continue to keep that in mind while I explore the wonderful and wacky world of dating.